Written by Xanadu Roque, T1D Support Guide at Blue Circle Health
Today marks our 15 year anniversary.
Here\u2019s to my longest, craziest and most stressful relationship.\u00a0
You\u2019ve threatened my life on multiple occasions,\u00a0
are the source of my mood swings,\u00a0
literally give me highs and lows\u00a0
and have begun your slow decomposition of my body.\u00a0
I\u2019ve spent endless nights crying because of you,\u00a0
but I haven\u2019t been so innocent myself.\u00a0
I\u2019ve screamed at you, tried to get rid of you,\u00a0
ignored you, abused you\u00a0
and blamed you for the bad things that happen in my life.
I feel your aches in my heart,\u00a0
your burning in my feet,\u00a0
your searing pain in my eyes\u00a0
and your exhaustion in my spirit.\u00a0
I sometimes let your poisonous thoughts creep into my soul,\u00a0
making me feel vulnerable, scared and undeserving.\u00a0
I didn\u2019t ask for you to be with me but you didn\u2019t either.\u00a0
I want to say I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0
I didn\u2019t mean all the bad things I said.\u00a0
I don\u2019t hate you, for you\u2019ve helped me grow.\u00a0
I don\u2019t want you to go away, for it weren\u2019t for you,\u00a0
I wouldn\u2019t know what it is to struggle and appreciate the small things in life.\u00a0
I realize now I should have nurtured you from the beginning.
I should have paid attention to your cries.\u00a0
I can\u2019t blame you for my problems, because you just needed me to be there.\u00a0
For years I decided against that…and for that, I am sorry.\u00a0
I\u2019ve slowly come to terms with the fact that you’re a part of my life\u00a0
and I have to learn how to love you the way you needed to be loved 15 years ago.
Like tectonic plates colliding, we have caused an earthquake on my body.\u00a0
The aftermath has left its permanent damage but it doesn\u2019t mean we have to abandon ship.\u00a0
t means that we have to work hard every day to clean up the mess and build a better foundation.\u00a0
It means we have to take charge of the situation\u00a0
and learn from our past to make our future better and stronger.\u00a0
It means that instead of putting up with you,\u00a0
I\u2019ve decided to hold your hand and finally become one.\u00a0
Because who is Xanadu without Diabetes?<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Written by Xanadu Roque, T1D Support Guide at Blue Circle Health Today marks our 15 year anniversary.Here\u2019s to my longest, craziest and most stressful relationship.\u00a0You\u2019ve threatened my life on multiple occasions,\u00a0are the source of my mood swings,\u00a0literally give me highs and lows\u00a0and have begun your slow decomposition of my body.\u00a0 I\u2019ve spent endless nights crying […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":2766,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[118],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2765","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-in-the-media"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n